The humour of faulty planes

Whether this is genuine or not it made me laugh!!
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a
gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with
the aircraft during the
flight that need repair or correction.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then
respond in writing on
the lower half of the form what remedial action was
taken, and the pilot
reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers
lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints
and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas Australia's Airline....is the
only Major airline that has
never had an accident.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.


P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

LOL

Lu :bom: