If ye ever run oot of booze; try this

John and Jim were drinking buddies who worked as
aircraft mechanics at Aberdeen Airport .

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the
hangar with nothing to do.

John said, 'Man, I wish we hid sommin' to drink!'

Jim says, 'Me in a'. Y'kaen, a've heard ye can drink jet fuel an
get a buzz. Di ye wanna try it?'

So they poured themselves a couple of glasses of high octane jet
fuel hooch and got completely smashed.

The next morning John wakes up and is surprised at how good he
feels. In fact he feels GREAT!

NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, Hey, how ye feeling
the day?'

John says, 'Smashing! Fit about you?'

Jim says, 'Brand spanking new! Got a hangover ?'

John says , 'No - that jet fuel is just the dogs bollocks! -- nae
hangover, nethin. We shid dee this mair afen'

Jim says 'Aye, well there's jist the one thing.'

'Fit's 'at then?'

'Hiv yi farted yet?'

' Er, - No '

Well, DINNA, 'cause I'm in fu**in' Norway !

Fit yer talkin’ aboot? Need a translator!

for once i understand you bill ive been serving a drunk scotsman all night in the restuarant